Okay, funny and depressing story I have for you lot today!
So since my research project is basically centred on this chromatin immunoprecipitation assays, I practically have NO DATA for my thesis yet. And there is ONLY ONE AND A HALF months left!
So anyways. If I start ChIP assays on Monday, my data isn't usually ready before the Friday meeting I have with my program head (who is also my cosupervisor). But what I did have were some cyto assays I was working on. And I wanted to compare them to the sequencing paper that I am basing a part of my project on. But the IC50 of my results were different to that obtained in the paper.
When I brought this issue up, my cosupervisor looked at my graphs and the title and just said: how long was the treatment period in the paper.
And then I thought: OH CRAP. I didn't check that out.
After looking at the paper: "72 hours".
Cosupervisor: "And how long was yours?"
Me: "24 hours..."
And then I got asked why I chose "24 hours".
Tbh, I really don't know why. I thought that was the general treatment time for all drugs. But I didn't want my cyto assay trainer to get in trouble, so I told him:
"because it was convenient".
Um yeah. Not exactly the best thing I could have said. And then I got told off about how I didn't have any intellectual control over my project. Especially at this point in the year. I was also reminded of how I didn't have any data for my thesis yet.
So I basically felt like crap. And that conversation just kept echoing in my head throughout my entire weekend.
My cosupervisor asked if I knew how my drug worked. And I responded: "I don't know.."
He then asked if I had read the group's 2005 paper, which I couldn't tell which one..
So yeah. I am basically not that well versed in the literature. I don't have intellectual control over my project and I ask stupid questions and can't "arm myself" when I do because I don't know about the literature and am just blindly diving into doing things. :(
I am so angry at myself. What my cosupervisor said is all true. It was a giant slap in the face. But a slap I really needed.
I need to read more literature. But I just gotta find the time!
Well, after my cosupervisor expressed his disappointments about me not reading the literature...
I am still feeling a little down. I don't know if I will be able to face him tomorrow. I just... I haven't cried once. But I feel like it. But no tears will come out.
It is such a long journey. But considering the time I have left.. I wish the journey was longer. Im running out of time for my thesis.