Becoming a Scripture Teacher

So I've recently signed up to be a islamic studies scripture teacher at a public school literally NEXT to my apartment building. And my first class with this certain public school happened to be on the final week of Term 2. So I've only had one class with the school.

And that's about the ONLY class I will be having with that school.

Why you ask? Did I get fired?
Well technically, since it's all voluntary... "fired" wouldn't be the right word for it. More like "if that teacher comes back I'm pulling my kid out of the scripture program".

That shocked me. Initially my supervisor didn't want me to know why she was offering to relocate me... but I insisted. I needed to know what I did wrong! I'm not the type to ignore my mistakes (if it genuinely was a mistake). I want to fix things and become better!

So what was my mistake?
Well apparently, there were 2 things I said: "You're not allowed to listen to music" and "if you don't wear the hijab you're going to hellfire".

I DID NOT SAY THAT.

I specifically kept saying to myself in my mind that day to not say anything so direct. And it was emphasised so much during my training to avoid the "going to hellfire" topic. And I did abide by that! It must've gotten twisted or misunderstood during the lesson. I remember saying you should wear hijab, but not saying ".. and if you don't, you're going to hell".

And with the music question, I did not say that outright either. I asked the question what they shouldn't do in Ramadan. One of the kids say "listening to music" which I said "yes". I think the kid might've thought you shouldn't listen to music in general, Ramadan or no Ramadan. The music topic is a controversial one. You're really not supposed to, since the angels don't like it and will go away when they hear it... along with many other reasons. But some Muslims still listen to music voluntarily anyway. But the issue here is... I did  not outright say "you shouldn't listen to music". If anything, the message I was trying to communicate was "there are better things you could be doing rather than doing this and that, including listening to music".

So after a discussion with my supervisor, I have decided to relocate to another school. And it's not as close as my initial school. It's about a 20 minute bus ride. Grrr... $3.50 one way!

Tutoring adults is so much more fun. Maybe being a paediatrician isn't for me? But I love kids!

To be honest, I think the problem here was with the parents. Yeah, maybe the kid was a little spoilt but the decision to threaten to pull out their kid lies with the parents. And I could've gone back, but that would mean those kids' only chance of learning Islam would be taken away. And Allahu a'lam what they grow up to be. When they're older, it's hard to turn them back to Islam.

Well. Now that I've vented my frustration... I'm going to give my new school another go. Fresh start and now wiser! Not going to let one class pull me down. Gotta keep learning and inshaAllah I get rewarded for this. And inshaAllah those kids at the old school get a better teacher and grow up to become better Muslims and are guided on the correct path.

Ameen.


wassalam,
Nurilen

Making Another Blog

But that doesn't mean I'm leaving this one. This blog is a lot more... like a diary. I can post anything (well almost) and it doesn't have to pertain to a particular theme. There are no rules here.

What I do envision, is a more connected feeling. I want to make a blog that encourages discussion and networking. And to do that, I need to find whatever it is that I am passionate about and find those people that share those interests. Writing a blog about my life is for me and not really for anyone else. Everyone else has their problems, and have other people in their lives who ALSO have problems.

So what blog am I making?
I'm thinking of making a Green Tea blog. There's probably one already like that out in the world, but I want to add my own flavour into it. I will share that blog once it is ready to be shared. Can't go into any more details since it is still an idea in my head. Wondering if I should make it a wordpress or stay on the blogspot platform.

I am also making another blog.
Yep. You've heard correctly. Making a second blog! It's going to be about sharing stories about oneself. It's going to start as a personal project... I suppose documenting it across a period of time. Maybe if it gains a following I could share others' stories on it too. This blog is the one that I hope will be the engaging one. I hope it will connect to others.
Since the aim of this particular "story" blog is about sharing and connecting, I don't think blogspot provides the best for that. I was thinking of tumblr or wordpress... but yeah. Still researching on the best blog platform to launch from.

**********************

Oh! And Ramadan is ending soon! So sad it went by so fast! I haven't found a paying a job yet. Ive mostly just been volunteering and building up my resume. I was the MC of an iftaar one night. Alhamdulillah it went alright!
Half of 2015 is already gone too! Job prospects are decreasing but I to be honest, I don't really care. I've taken to calling this break a gap year and Allah SWT knows best. Maybe in the years ahead I'll be busy and would be regretful for not taking a break to reflect and actually work on all these ideas and projects I've had in mind. Perhaps I would be regretful for not taking a break and getting back into the deen. After last year's intensity, there wasn't much left in the tank self-esteem-wise, mental energy-wise and spiritually. This is the year to recharge. And there's only a few months left and I've gotta work on my bucket list.

wassalam,
Nurilen

A Quick Hello!

Hey everyone!

This is just a quick hello! I've been reading a couple of blogs and suddenly an idea came to me!

Idea: What if I blog in Indonesian? That way, I can practice my Indonesian! Yayyy!!

Okay. Here goes.

Apa kabar? Bagaimana cuaca hari ini? Sekarang, di Sydney, cuacanya agak dingin. Tetapi, saya suka cuaca yang dingin. Saya pikir saya suka cuaca seperti ini karena saya lahir di musim dingin (winter).

Andah pernah lihat salju? Saya pergi ke tempat salju hanya dua kali, dan saya memang jatu cinta sama salju. Tetapi, yang aneh itu... waktu saya di tempat salju, saya jadi sakit! Dan itu bikin saya sedih dan kecewa. Sudah pergi jauh jauh terus jatuh sakit. Ya... itulah takdir dari Allah.

Oh iyah.. saya mau kasih tahu sama kalian. Minggu ini, aku terima berita tentang nilai ujian GAMSAT saya. Saya kecewa banget karena ujian di Maret yang aku ikut.. saya bener beneran belajar keras. Itu ketiga kalinya saya ikut ujian GAMSAT itu. Tapi, nilai saya lebih kurang dari pada nilai yang ujian saya ikut tahun yang lalu. Ya... itulah takdir dari Allah SWT dan Allah SWT memang tahu apa yang paling bagus buat untuk saya. Insha Allah saya bisa di terima ke sekolah kedoktoran. Ameen!

Well, I hope you guys are well! And I'll let you guys know the results!

~Nurilen

Job Hunting

Hey!

I wanted to start this post on a cheerful note, so that it would be evenly balanced with the woes of the week that I have to rant about to you today.

IT'S FRIDAY!! TGIF! JUM'AH MUBARAK!

Did you know that if you make a doa (supplication) in a certain hour of Friday, Allah SWT will definitely answer that doa??
It encourages you to always think of Allah SWT on this blessed day!

Have you already read surat al-kahf yet? I haven't yet.. and it's zuhr time now. Uh-oh. Will do that as soon as I finish praying insha Allah!

Wow. I've written so many positive stuff and thought a lot about religion that my woes don't bother me anymore! SubhanAllah.

Yep. My woes are concerned with the dunya. My main woe is job hunting and my issues with procrastinating and focus.

I've had about 2-3 job interviews in the past 3 months since I've finished honours. I've mostly been applying to get medical receptionist jobs. The outcome of two of those interviews have not been successful. The 3rd one, is just a maybe. Which gives me hope! That 3rd interview was just an interview with the manager. At the moment they already have receptionists, but she said she would talk to the doctors about taking on another and she would call me if she needs a receptionist. Ya Allah... I hope I do get the job!

I think if I got jobs at the first two I interviewed at, it would have been difficult. One was located in the middle of no where and was only reachable by bus. Another was located about an 11 min walk from the nearest train station. Which was kings cross! Um... Asian hijabi girl walking in Kings Cross? Yeah. Not a good idea.
And I'm probably overthinking this, but on my walk to my interview (the one near Kings Cross), I think someone spat out of their car in my direction. I'm probably overthinking it, but it was a pretty loud spit. And that's not normal behaviour, unless expressing intense dislike for something. That is, me.

So, now that I think about it... getting those two jobs were not best for me. Alhamdulillah. And I think I will get a job soon insha Allah. I'm currently busy at the moment working on a couple of things. Getting a job now will be difficult. But insha Allah. I will get the perfect job for me, at the best time for me. And when that best time will be? Allahu a'lam!

Trust in Allah SWT. Just make sure you do a lot of good deeds, stay away from haraam, pray on time, take care of your parents and family, and make plenty of doa.

*****************
p.s. update on the novel: Procrastinating... but once I'm done with all this stuff, will get back to it!

Started my Novel planning

Hey hey!

So I've started planning for my novel. I've decided that the novel shall go on for a number of books. And each book will go through a certain period of the protagonist's life. I won't disclose many more details. heheh.

But I've realised that the books I've loved the most are the ones that take you on a journey. Where you grow up with the characters. Something like Harry Potter. But I grew up with Harry Potter and that would span around 10 years! Hopefully it won't be that long.

I didn't grow up with the Anne of Green Gables series though. I read all the books in the series in the span of one year. And it is a classic. I want my novels to have that type of impact, long after I finish writing the final book (whenever that may be).

By the way, I've decided to publish the series on wattpad. I've only recently learnt about this website. I won't link the story just yet as I haven't even started yet! I've mostly been planning my characters and stuff. But, what worries me is that wattpad is known to host a lot of fanfiction. And I kind of don't want that reputation to demean my work. But in saying that, I've seen SO MANY really interesting stories published on that website. And well, I think it's a good place for me to start publishing stuff there, as an amateur novelist.

I'm only an amateur novelist as a hobby. I have other, bigger and more ambitious teams.

What being a novelist means to me:
For me, it's a certain type of expression. It's an opportunity to cross into a realm where I am free and in control of what I write.
English at school was never my forte. Maths was!
I remember the times at school when I would struggle to write a creative writing peace. And in the end I would write a piece of trash due to it being written against a set task. And teachers would never give my essays or narratives full marks. Writing never came easily to me as it did to my classmates. But now, I think I will use this chance to better myself. To cross into uncomfortable territory. To express my thoughts into something inspiring and exciting. To make my written communication skills the best insha Allah!

Done with Honours and now job hunting

Well guys,

I'm back from a trip to Adelaide and now I have to get serious about my future. I have so many things I want to do right now. It is A GIANT LIST.
But the "thing to do" at #1 is making me accomplish that list very difficult. It's my number 1 priority and for some reason, my mind is telling me that if I DON'T do that #1, I CANNOT progress to the other stuff below it!

And you know what that #1 thing to do is?

GET A JOB.

And I've been pretty lenient on this one. ANY job. It doesn't even have to be a science job!

But I've been picky. My plan was not to get a full-time job until April. So there are only so many part-time and casual jobs out there right?
Well, the fact that I've mostly been going for the medical receptionist jobs doesn't really help either. But my plan was to have a part-time/casual job so I could have room for volunteering!

But insha Allah I get a job. I make do'a every day. So that my dreams come true. insha Allah!

-Nurilen

Presentation downer

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to recount what happened the other day and how I went into a depression slump.

So I did a practice presentation in front of my lab group (and another lab group) today and one of the questions i got was during my 'question time' made me wish i had just disappeared. It was the SIMPLEST question ever. A question THAT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN after being in the group for 8 MONTHS. BUT I DID NOT KNOW.

And of course the group smirked at me when i said the wrong answer. I think my stupidity was revealed and now I can't face being back in there anymore.

Now that I've typed this, my way of trying to solve this problem of mine is really stupid.

I am now going to tell myself this:

DON'T LET THEIR OPINIONS OF YOU AFFECT YOU. Do your thing, make a lot of DUA and insha ALLAH when ALLAH SWT gives you the results you want, you can forget about this dilemma and laugh at yourself. INSHA ALLAH.

I guess because it was the first time that people's laughing at me.. actually affected me. Affected my pride? I'm generally a silly person and I think people laughing at you is a good thing. It means youre hilarious and fun to be around. But when they laugh at you because of something so OBVIOUSLY SHOWING HOW STUPID you are... that got me.

But I shall listen to my advice. Do my thing. Don't care what they think.


Just pray to ALLAH SWT. Amiin.

[Review] Kazbah Restaurant

My friends and I decided to utilise a $50 voucher and go out for dinner. We chose Kazbah because it was apparently the cheapest out of all the restaurants. AND.. it had my vote because it had a halal menu.

Note: despite the restaurant having a 'halal menu' there were still some items that were not halal.

Not going to go into details but what went down that night. I guess this post will take on a review style!


The atmosphere and setting 4/5
Was pleasant. It was a weeknight and most of the diners were sitting outside smoking argileh and drinking wine.
We came in around 6.30pm and there was only 2-3people in the actual indoor dining place.

The room was dark but we had a nice view of the harbourside. We were seated at wooden table and chairs. But there was also those booth chairs with extremely comfy-looking cushions on them too.

I also saw a private space in the corner with curtains. So if any of you guys come in as a group and would like some privacy during your meal, I guess the restaurant can cater for that :)

Not sure if you can book it though. Probably should call up to check, especially if you're thinking of going on a busy night.

The Bathroom 3/5
Yes! They have a bathroom. It was quite small. But the essentials were there.. the toilet was clean and they have a nice sink. The floors were a little wet but not slippery gross wet as if a monsoon had filled up the floor.

The service 4/5
The waitress serving us was real nice and kindly pointed out which meals were not halal. There were some desserts that had vodka in it, but she took note of our requirements and arranged for the dish to not have alcohol in it which is super nice.
We didn't have to wait too long for our meals either. However, the waitress did know that we were sharing our plates so it would've been nice if she divided the meals equally between the three of us.

And now.. for the important bit...

The Food

Mains

• Kazbah's Mezze Plate - Goat, Black Olives, Pumpkin, Saffron Yoghurt Sauce, Pinenuts % Almond Burnt Butter (with couscous) 4/5

I loved it. The side dishes (to the right of the blue bowl) was interesting. The top was some chilli powder, the middle was I think some saffron spicy thing and the bottom was a salty and sour pickle thing. I love salty and sour things!

This dish was REAL good. The goat was tender. And it's not everyday that you eat goat. It was a nice blend of curry with the couscous. It was like the fused together in your mouth and gave you this warm feeling in your belly.

• Shish kebabs - Camel Kafta, Brown Lentil Moujadara, Tunisian Style Ratatouille, Date Sauce, Crispy Fried Onions 4.5/5
  

This was SO yummy! I love camel! This is the second time I've eaten camel this year (possibly my entire life) and I loved it! Only downside was that it didn't have enough side dish. I assume the rice surrounding it was the side dish. Well, it needed more of that! But the camel was tender, juicy and there's just something about the texture of camel meat that makes it special. Definitely one of those exotic dishes to try out in an exotic restaurant.

• Specialties - Roast Duck, Falafel, Honey Baked Quince, Sweet Potato Chips 3/5

It was nice, to say the least. I wasn't too sure about what I was expecting from this dish. After coming in after the goat and camel dishes, it was quite plain. The duck didn't really absorb the sauce it was sitting on. It wasn't tender or juicy, but I guess it's safe to say I had tastier things that night. I felt slightly ripped off as it was the most expensive thing we ordered that night! But the dish was not bad.

Drinks

I haven't been to many harbourside restaurants, but their drinks menu was packed with alcoholic drinks! But to fit in with the fancy setting, decided to go for the mocktails.

Mocktails

I ordered a lychee mocktail while my two friends ordered a mixed fruit.

Left (yellow): Mixed Fruit mocktail
Right (pink): Lychee mocktail

The lychee mocktail was so good. No regrets. I was hesitant to pick it as my friends ordered the mixed fruit. But after tasting theirs, I LOVE the lychee more. It was sweet and very syrup-py but I highly recommend it. I can't remember what the other flavours were though..

The mixed fruit had I think apple and pineapple amongst other things which I cannot recall at the moment. I thought those fruits were pretty everyday-ish. And the drink mostly tasted like pineapple.

Lychee mocktail 3.5/5
Mixed fruit mocktail 3/5

Desserts

Wow.. where do I begin with desserts. Let's start with the nice one - but not the best one of the night.

• Fruit mince bisteeya, raspberry and custard sauce, pistachio coated halawa ice cream 3/5
  
  

This dish was really yummy. I loved the whatever pastry thing was underneath. And pistachio-covered ice-cream is my 3rd favourite ice cream. The raspberry sauce in the custard though.. to quote my friend "tasted like dimetapp". LOL. I didn't think of it when I first tasted it... but I can't find any other words to describe that red liquid any more accurately. But I think the custard saved that bit.

It's a dish I wouldn't really go for again though.

• Kazbah bomb for Two, Turkish Delight Ice cream, Blueberries 4.5/5

This dish was originally "flamed with Vodka". But we asked the waitress to omit the vodka bit.

This dessert is one of the tastiest things to ever enter my belly! I LOVED the Turkish Delight ice cream. I am not a big fan of Turkish delights.. but that ice cream was just LOVE. And it was coated in some crumb thing (like they do with fried ice cream), and covered in meringe which I think made the overly sweet ice cream taste even better! And to complete the flavouring, the blueberries added this acidic tinge to the dessert which makes this so perfect.


Cost
It's a harbourside restaurant in Sydney. Expect dishes to be on the pricey side. To be honest, $30 for a dish is just ridiculous. But well we had a voucher..

oh damn that triple digit bill!

Yes. I THOUGHT we had a voucher until for some reason their eftpos machine couldn't read the voucher card! Well.. the night did not end well. Spent A LOT of money. We emailed the voucher company and apparently they got some new eftpos machine. Still waiting to hear the outcome.

When trying to impress your supervisors for the sake of impressing

Okay, funny and depressing story I have for you lot today!

So since my research project is basically centred on this chromatin immunoprecipitation assays, I practically have NO DATA for my thesis yet. And there is ONLY ONE AND A HALF months left!


*panic mode*


So anyways. If I start ChIP assays on Monday, my data isn't usually ready before the Friday meeting I have with my program head (who is also my cosupervisor). But what I did have were some cyto assays I was working on. And I wanted to compare them to the sequencing paper that I am basing a part of my project on. But the IC50 of my results were different to that obtained in the paper.

When I brought this issue up, my cosupervisor looked at my graphs and the title and just said: how long was the treatment period in the paper.

And then I thought: OH CRAP. I didn't check that out.

After looking at the paper: "72 hours".

Cosupervisor: "And how long was yours?"

Me: "24 hours..."

And then I got asked why I chose "24 hours".

Tbh, I really don't know why. I thought that was the general treatment time for all drugs. But I didn't want my cyto assay trainer to get in trouble, so I told him:

"because it was convenient".

...

Um yeah. Not exactly the best thing I could have said. And then I got told off about how I didn't have any intellectual control over my project. Especially at this point in the year. I was also reminded of how I didn't have any data for my thesis yet.

So I basically felt like crap. And that conversation just kept echoing in my head throughout my entire weekend.

My cosupervisor asked if I knew how my drug worked. And I responded: "I don't know.."
He then asked if I had read the group's 2005 paper, which I couldn't tell which one..

So yeah. I am basically not that well versed in the literature. I don't have intellectual control over my project and I ask stupid questions and can't "arm myself" when I do because I don't know about the literature and am just blindly diving into doing things. :(

I am so angry at myself. What my cosupervisor said is all true. It was a giant slap in the face. But a slap I really needed.

I need to read more literature. But I just gotta find the time!

Well, after my cosupervisor expressed his disappointments about me not reading the literature...

I am still feeling a little down. I don't know if I will be able to face him tomorrow. I just... I haven't cried once. But I feel like it. But no tears will come out.

It is such a long journey. But considering the time I have left.. I wish the journey was longer. Im running out of time for my thesis.

wassalam,

Nurilen

A much needed change. Change is good. Starting with My Bedroom.

So this holiday, I decided to be productive. I vacuumed my room and the carpet looks absolutely spotless! By spotless, I mean, no strands of hair (which is really gross).
I'm losing my hair :( and it's a visible problem. No one really goes into my room, so all that hair on the floor must've been mine!

But yeah. Needa sort out this problem hmmm.

And I got a new table! And it has made such a BIG difference to my room. And hopefully to my study life? I'm typing on my new table right now and it feels so spacious up top. But unfortunately, not so much leg room.

In a way, I'm happy. But that leg room! I have giant legs and it hurts whenever my legs hit against that bar at the bottom :( But I know that that bar is necessary to keep the table upright.

It is also interesting to note that my table was once the family's old dinner table. Wow. It was so huge in my memory but now that I look at it, how did all 5 of us fit and eat on this thing?
Nahh I've got to be grateful. And anyway, due to Honours, I'm mostly at uni anyway and wouldn't be at this table.. much.

And I also got a new bedside alarm clock! :D

It's been so long since I've had a LED bedside alarm clock. My previous clock was an analog clock and its served me well the past couple of years. Except that it was such a giant pain. When you wake up in the middle of the night, you can't see what time it is. And sometimes, it is just too cold to stick your arm out of the bed covers and turn the alarm's light on.. JUST to find out what time it is. It ruins the comfiness ya know.

But one of the downsides of having a digital alarm clock is that you can't see what time it is in proportion to other times.. like, says its 8.14.. you can't automatically see how much time is left till it's 8.30..
Yeah. lazy stuff like that. But I am digging this radio function! I've never had a radio alarm clock before. Both my younger sisters have had a radio alarm clock. And I have NEVER had one.
Now I do ;)
Alhamdulillah. It's such a kawaii size and I'm a little weary since it's got a cable and all, and is next to that flower jar full of water..

btw, that's actually sandalwood. Not a flower. It's meant to be this aromatic herb that would give my bedroom a nice smell. Apparently my room stinks. According to my family that is.
Well that would keep unwanted visitors out of my room while i'm away hahaha. But I don't think the sandalwood is doing a very good job.

I found a caterpillar on the sandalwood one day, with a pile of its droppings at the base of the jar. SO GROSS! I can't imagine what could've happened if it had crawled along the bedside table, onto my bed.. and into my ear. EWWW!

I got rid of the caterpillar though. And the sandalwood yesterday was looking brown, so I got rid of that too. Whatever. There's too much stuff on my bedside table anyway. I like to keep it clear, just in case I don't knock anything over when my arm reaches out one morning to press that snooze button.

Speaking of bedroom aromas..

A couple of weeks ago, I tried to get rid of that apparent stench in my room by looking up for some green tea air fresheners online (since im a green tea fanatic) but I found this super cool technique instead. Hanging tea bags!

Tea Bags by the Window - How's the Serenity..

They haven't made much of a difference. Well, I can't exactly tell. I didn't really smell much of a green tea thing in my room. And that could be due to many reasons.
1. The tea bags were actually over 2 years old and I only decided to use them because nobody else was using them.
or
2. Maybe they just eliminated the odour, and not exactly emitted their own smell
or
3. These may just work in small enclosed spaces, like in an aeroplane's bathroom cubicle (as the article I read online mentioned)

Well, they didn't change the smell of the room, but my mother did notice it. And seeing how desperate I was, she bought me some of the real air freshener stuff. My room properly smells like lavender now.. unti the new table came along.

The new table still smells of new polish. And it's making my room reek of it. Is it safe to sleep in a room that smells of paint? I've been having my curtains and windows widely opened and I've also been sleeping with my door open these past 2 nights to let the paint smell out. I hope this smell fades out soon :( I don't like sleeping with my door open.. it makes me a little scared lol. Which is why I keep my lamp on throughout the night and that is such a waste of energy and I wake up feeling moody :/

I have also been trying to decorate my room. I'm not a very creative decorator though.. I've mostly been putting up the posters that I used to hang in my old room from my previous house.

Such a bare well next to my bed

With the Old Table

With the New Table (and poster of Central Park)

I tried to spice up my old table with a jar of roses. But roses don't last long.. and they were dead within 2 weeks. :( They were SO pretty though and I had enough pretty pink things to make a pretty pink corner. It was such a beautiful sight to wake up to.

One of the biggest eyesores in my room were these bags of books next to my shelf.

An eyesore: that pile of bags full of books to the left of my shelf

I have a lot of books. That i don't want to read. They were actually given to me by an aunt that was moving interstate and she didn't want to bring them with her. Now that I've looked through them, I can see why. The books are of various genres, but nothing really of my taste. There's some psychological, some horror, some adult. And beauty books.

Beauty and the Books

Nothing really of my taste. I'm more into the classics these days like Sherlock Holmes, Jane Eyre, The Power of One, Huckleberry Finn..

So yeah. I really don't know what to do with them. I had thought of giving them away to some friends as birthday gifts.. but to be honest, I wouldn't dare give them such cheap gifts. I don't think these books are even that good. And I am not judging by their cover, I am judging by their blurb. I wouldn't dare give  a trashy adult novel to a friend that loves fantasy adventure stories.

I'm thinking of donating them to the library. They're still in good condition. But ARGHH I wonder when I'll even have the time to even contact the library! Their opening hours are so small! And when they're opened, I have to be in the lab! :(

insha Allah I get this stuff sorted out. Till then, I have moved them away from next to the shelf.. to next to the bin. Well, if that's not a hint of what I really want to do with them, I don't know what is.
Nahh, it'd be tragic to throw books in such perfect condition away. They just need a new home.
I'm putting them next to my bin which is next to my door. So every time I walk out of my room, I spot a glimpse of these books and remember that these books NEED A NEW HOME.

Okay.. so I think my weekend of scuffling stuff around my room has been done and dusted. Almost everything has been moved around, and it makes my room look so different. It's as if I have just moved in and I am excited to live in it! I love change! I like trying out new things because I love the fact that it gives me the feeling of having a fresh start every single time.

Honours Update

So this past week was pretty intense. Submitted my literature review, had a western blot training, got a new table, had a couple of food parties.. and damn. My belly is the roundest its been!

Uni Work
I submitted my literature review! ALHAMDULILLAH!
And I even printed it out for free :D My institute has it's own COLOUR printing and comb-binding service.
Mind you, I was almost about to go and print with P3 and spend 15 bucks! But a fellow honours student in my lab group thought to email the peeps upstairs and asked. I'm seriously so glad that she's in my group. I would be lost without her. And she's quite nice!

Alhamdulillah for awesome people in my lab group! I know some people went to Officeworks or P3 and had to PAY.

but yeah. I feel relieved it is out of the way and Insha Allah I get full marks! Amiin!
When I submitted to TurnItIn, it came back with a 11% similarity. My printing friend had 3%. But insha Allah everything turns out well.

Training Update
I started my Western blot training this week as well. It was super tiring. So many washings! I wonder how I'm going to get the hang of it all!
And I wonder if I still remember how to do a cytotoxicity assay that I was trained in about a month ago?

Insha Allah everything goes well!

I still have more trainings to go! I haven't been signed off for this Western blot yet. arghhh.

Other Honours Stuff Update
So my co-supervisor is back and we had a farewell party (more info in the food post) for one of our staff on Thursday. I sat across from him and it was super awkward. I was just trying to avoid eye contact with him. Which is pretty tragic. I should seriously try to have a conversation with him. He is after all my supervisor.. I just get intimidated sometimes. He's a pretty cool and laidback person. But I dunno. I've just this weird compelx with people in high positions as myself. Like, there's a barrier that I cannot cross because I'm just a measly honours student.

Ah well.

And I have a presentation this Thursday. What on earth am I going to say in this presentation? In front of my entire LAB GROUP? So I think I'm presenting my project plan, but I have almost zero idea on what it's going to be about. I need to talk with my primary supervisor more..

I'm getting a little paranoid as well about this presentation. A previous Honours student presented his project plan last time and he was GRILLED with questions. I don't want to be in that position :(
Insha Allah all goes well. Amiin! I feel like I've got something to prove you know? I've been like real bad in my training lol. I don't want to be bad in my presenting and communication skills ahahahha

A Weekend to Chill [Finally!]

Okay, the weekend isn't all that chill.. in fact, we're in the middle of Autumn now and it's time to swap those shorts and t-shirts for some cosy sweatpants and jumpers :D

i don't wear shorts in public. i was talking about around the house. hahahah.

In public, I usually wear the same style in hail, rain or sunshine. For hijabi girls, it's all about the layering. I would wear like some spencers or longer tights underneath what I would usually wear and I'm pretty much comfy in that.

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Literature Review Update

ALHAMDULILLAH my literature review is complete and I am in the final stages before submitting it in. Alhamdulillah, my primary supervisor says its good (Insha Allah) and now I'm just waiting for my co-supervisor's (who is the program head) review. My co-supervisor was in a conference in san diego so I guess it might take him a while to get back to me.

I actually sent my co-supervisor my second draft on Thursday afternoon. And in my email I told him it was like 1000 words over the limit and I needed to fix the reference list. I got a reply from him the next morning and the email said something along the lines of:

 "i think you should fix it up before sending it to us. I don't see much point in reviewing it if it's going to change again"

LOL. So the first time I read it, I felt really CUT. HAHAHH but then my primary supervisor sent me an email telling me not to worry about since he might be busy in the san diego conference. It's like my primary supervisor had a feeling I might feel a little cut! OMG. it makes me teary. Maybe it's because he's asian and we asians understand each other?

okay. Well I read the email again with a different mindset and didn't take it to heart and fixed everything up. Cut down words and fixed up my reference list then sent it in. 

I still haven't gotten a reply. It Sunday now and I know I shouldn't expect a reply over the weekend, but the literature review is due on Wednesday!

Well, I am having a meeting with my co-supervisor tomorrow. But my primary supervisor is going to be away for an entire week. :( So nervous about that meeting even though my co-supervisor's a pretty laid back guy. It's just that, he's a PROFESSOR and I, a measly honours student am just so intimidated by the distance in our ranks. I hope there isn't much bad stuff to discuss about my review tomorrow, insha Allah..

And insha Allah I get full marks in this literature review. Amiin!

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Weekend Update

On Saturday, I had a shari'ah exam! And I left the labs early on Friday afternoon and my primary supervisor saw me walk out. Aaaaaa...

But I really had to study for that test.

And I didn't!

Looks like I went all out.. in reality I only read the revision sheets and some pages from the Textbook
:(

Well I did, but not as much as I could of, considering I left early on Friday! I was so exhausted! And I fell asleep. I tried to study a bit more after Fajr on saturday. OMG, I feel like such an idiot for trying to study in bed. of course i was dropping in and out of sleep! :(

So how did the test go?

Well, it was good and bad. I'm pretty sure I won't get 100%. There were some questions that asked for proofs from the Quran and Sunnah in the aqeedah test. Although I could pretty much say some hadeeths, I COULD NOT provide any Quran proofs because I didn't memorise them when I was studying! I felt SO BAD. When I was studying, I couldn't read the arabic.. I can read arabic. It's just that, it didnt have the vowel marks and since I don't have an arabic background, it was hard to discern. And I didn't have time while studying to actually look them up :( I thought of memorising the english translation, but I didnt do that either!

i am so frustrated with myself. But insha Allah I do well in Fiqh..

These tests dont really count to anything.. I mean, you don't get a certificate or anything like you do in some shari'ah schools. BUT THIS STUFF COUNTS FOR THE AKHIRAH! Of course I want to do well! 

Everything is make me so frustrated. All this literature review, honours DUNYA stuff is taking over what is really important. And my performance in that shariah exam is proof of it!

I should really juggle my priorities. I am just praying to Allah SWT that I can juggle my life more. So I can strive for success in this dunya, and also in the akhirah Insha Allah.

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Other Weekend things I did..

Leisurely things that I have do so far are.. watching Japanese movies and making myself porridge for breakfast.

As a consolation for the guilt I was feeling after that shari'ah exam.. I watch 2 Japanese films that day. I watched "The Girl that Leapt through Time"(TGTLTT) and "Hana and Alice"(H&A)

I don't want to write a whole review about those two films in this post because that would make this weekend update blog post REALLY LONG. But, they were very cute movies and I guess you could say you'd feel good after watching it. In TGTLTT, I guess you'll feel a combination of sadness, but it really makes you think about love and stuff. It wasn't too deep but it was enjoyable.

With H&A, I was confused after watching it. But now that I've thought about it some more.. it wasn't really about the plot. It was about a friendship between 2 girls.

I don't want to spoil anything, but hey reader. If you're interested in watching it and want to read a review by me.. then please say so! Otherwise, i guess you could find some reviews on the internet LOL. I'm not that good of a writer.

And this morning, I ate porridge! But not only that, I cooked it myself! It was so delicious!
I was inspired to make it after watching a Jamie Oliver youtube video:

I made the poppy-seed one. It was real tasty but when my mum dug in, she said it was salty :(
She didn't like the coconut in the porridge. My dad doesn't really like porridge, but he had a spoonful and he said it tasted nice. My dad doesn't usually complement my cooking so it was nice to hear.

I remember making mac&cheese and he said that it was okay but it was the type of food he'd only eat if he was really hungry. And he didn't like my ice-cream cake i made a couple of years back because it was really hard.. like a brick. HAHAHAH so yeah. But I think my cooking's been improving.
and don't ask about what my sisters think of my cooking because they're just real difficult to please.

We also had a Korean bbq yesterday. a HOME-MADE korean bbq. We're still trying to figure out the side-dishes and sauces to go with the Korean BBQ but alhamdulillah the meat was tasty. The wagyu meat is really yummy :3 And I was doing the meat-grilling. I think I'm pretty good at cooking meat, ALHAMDULILLAH. I cooked the lamb chops when we went to the snow and my family really liked it :D and so did they with the wagyu meat ^_^

Anyways.. I enjoy cooking but for now, I don't think I'll be cooking an entire meal for my family soon. Don't want to make anyone leave the dinner table because it's so bad LOL.

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Chores for the weekend

So there's this giant pile of ironing to do and I should do them ASAP. Or maybe I should leave it to the public holiday that's coming around this Friday? I should really get to making that presentation for my lab meeting on Thursday :S

I'm very nervous.

But Insha Allah everything goes well!

Goals and Daydreams

Last night, I set myself the goal to reach 1000 words in my literature review. And I achieved it.

But there's just one thing. I did not reach those 1000 words in one night. It was a goal I had achieved over the course of a week, where I would be reading tonnes of literature and type a little each day.

The maximum word count for this literature review is 3000 words and I had told my supervisor I would hand in my first draft by the middle of this week.

And here's something else. I have set myself the goal of achieving 1000 words tonight, reaching approximately 2000 words. I was supposed to be finished with this thing last Friday according to the schedule I made myself. But my lab training took quite a bit out of me: both strength, concentration and motivation-wise.

I am already day-dreaming about the end of year break. I'm thinking of writing a story and putting it online. Not sure if anyone will read it though hahah. But yeah. I'm thinking of making a whole new blog just publishing maybe a daily post on this story. So I don't want to reveal too much about this story.. except that it's made me daydream A LOT when I should really be doing my assignment.

I'm just thinking of heaps of plots I could put into this. I think this story would sort of take the format of a soapie or something. Completely a guilty pleasure story that will most likely not have a message or any lesson you can take away from. But I promise to make it funny!

Well. This story thing is a LONG way away. DEFINITELY after Honours insha Allah.. which would be the end of November. Ya Allah! So far away T_T

Insha Allah I can get through this literature review and get a high mark for this. Really can't afford to slack off in Honours.

Wassalam~

Nurilen

And how does that make you feel?

Assalamualaikum!

Just finished my 3rd week of Honours and already I am overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to do. I really am trying not to stress but can I just say that looming deadlines are approaching ever so faster and I feel like crying because it feels like one of those nightmares where you're being chased and trying to run away but you're just not moving.

Unfortunately, I cannot escape this nightmare of a reality by simply waking up. This is the REAL WORLD. I have no choice but to tackle it all head on.

By the way, GAMSAT was last Saturday. I don't want to say too much about how it went right now but I am just praying that I do get the mark I need to get into my desired medical school insha Allah! 

Back to the Honours topic..

In one of the Honours workshops I attended, the presenter told us to write about how we feel at the moment. It seems I am not the writing by hand type anymore. My handwriting has become atrocious! But I am a fast typer ;) So I thought I would use the excuse of writing about my feelings to update my blog!

Maybe I can even talk a bit about my project and my thoughts on it. I don't think I'll be able to disclose any data on my actual project as it's confidential and all.. but hopefully I'll be able to perhaps skim the surface on it?

Okay, so for this post, I'm going to introduce my Honours project.

My project centers around the disease called leukaemia. Leukaemia, as some of you might know, is basically a cancer of the blood. More specifically, I am looking at acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL). Although more adults have ALL, it is in fact the most common paediatric cancer and although the cure rate against this disease is reaching 90%, there are still some patients that are unresponsive to the treatment. A class of drugs used in the treatment is called glucocorticoids. Glucocorticoids are a type of steroidal hormone produced by your adrenal glands and their physiological functions are many. One of their roles in our body's management of cancer is the induction of apoptosis (cell death). It is this apoptosis that is important to suppress the growth of the cancer. It is heavily recorded in the literature about patients having resistance to the glucocorticoids themselves and I am going to study the mechanisms behind this resistance. 

So there you have it. I hope I didn't overwhelm you with how overwhelmed I am. 

But until my next post, be prepared for more posts about my Honours project woes and angsts. Hahahah. 

~Nurilen

I Should Stop

Complaining.

I feel like I do that often. Just look at the header of my blog, "a place where I rant".
LOL.
This might sound sexist, but is it just me or do women complain a lot? I think it's just me. Most of the girls I talk to usually don't have anything to say except "complain complain complain blah blah blah".

Me? I usually bottle it all up. And use my blog as a medium to complain! Woohoo.
To be honest,  I don't think it's right of me to forcefully impose my emotions onto people if they don't want to.

But you, dear reader, read my posts and I assume you chose to read my whinging? hahah.

It will be a sad day when the world will run out of things to say and just fill their conversations with complaints about the world, their mum, dad, everything around them and these constructive conversations will turn into trashy gossip and a lot of backbiting. Astaghfirullah. May Allah SWT protect us!

I learnt from shariah class that if you have a complaint, complain to Allah SWT. There is NOTHING wrong with that. In fact it is good, because you are turning to Him and asking Him for His help. If you have a wish deep down in your heart, open it to Allah SWT and insha Allah, He will answer it :)

He said, "I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know.

Surat Yūsuf (Joseph) [12:86] 

سورة يوسف

What I miss the Most about Indonesia

As most of you might know, I was born in Australia.
オーストラリアで生まれました！
But my parents are from Indonesia.
でも、両親はインドネシアに来ました。

Okay, I think that's about as much Japanese I can type lol. After all, this is a post about Indonesia right?!

Maybe I should practise some of my Indonesian as well? Okay, from this post onwards, I will try! I should really stop embarrassing myself whenever I go back to my mother country. My Indonesian just won't come out! My embarrassment will definitely not be one of the things I miss about being there.

Tapi, saya cinta Indonesia~
I love Indonesia!

Waktu saya di Indonesia, saya pergi ke banyak tempat-tempat yang paling indah.
When I was in Indonesia, I went to many beautiful places.

Saya pergi ke taman kupu-kupu di Makassar dan juga lihat air terjun. Tempat itu bikin saya rasa segar karena cuaca di Indonesia selalu panas dan saya tidak bisa tahan panas. Saya jadi keringatan!
I went to a butterfly park in Makassar and also saw a waterfall (see pic below). That place made me feel fresh as Indonesia is always hot and I can't tolerate the heat very well. I sweat really easily!


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And there you have it. Some English, Indonesian and Japanese. I guess I cringe a bit more when I'm typing in Indonesian than when in Japanese because with Indonesian, I KNOW I sound weird. But with Japanese, I don't know whether or not I'm writing it right so I have more of a "whatever" attitude.

Ahhh.. I really love languages. I hope to travel the world one day and no doubt, languages will get you to places most tourists can't get to. By the way, Insha Allah I might be going to Umrah at the end of next year. And hopefully to Dubai as well. So I gotta brush up on my Arabic! I wish my university offered an Arabic language course. :(

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So.. on to that actual list eh?

1. The green that was everywhere. The green forests.

I love this picture. So much. 2hours drive from our hotel to see this tiny waterfall..
I was expecting to see a waterfall as large as the ones I've seen in the pictures of Niagra Falls. But this is okay too. I've never seen this much water rushing down before. SubhanAllah!

Waterfall - Makassar

Just a house here in the forest - Makassar

Forest Trek in Makassar leading to caves

2. Giant bodies of water everywhere!

One of the things Australia and Indonesia have in common is that they're islands. Water pratically surrounds us. And I love swimming! But I dislike getting wet though. Being a hijaabi, it's a big hassle when you're trying to remove layers and layers of wet clothes.

By giant bodies of water, I don't mean floods. I visited Jakarta during it's monsoon season and towards the last few days of our trips, it was raining non-stop. And we left just in time before the Jakarta city was flooded some 2 or 3 days later. Alhamdulillah!

Makassar has one of the bluest waters I have ever seen. It was such a clean city! In contrast to Jakarta and Pontianak lol.

Makassar Waters

Bangunan di atas air - Makassar

LOL. Didn't know what else to call it.

Casually sipping some a coconut while overlooking the waters in Singkawang, Pontianak

If green tea is the flavour of the Japanese, then coconut is most definitely the flavour of Indonesia. It probably isn't but I was crazy about coconuts when in Indo! It's cool.. and refreshing! Tastes a little weird the first time, but it is strangely addictive. It must be the Indonesian in me.

Sailing down a canal in Puncak

As I am going through my holiday pictures, I've realised that I don't have that many pictures. So much for being a blogger eh?

3. Cats everywhere!

I love cats! And dare I say this, but I think I'm a bit of a cat whisperer. Every time I meow at a cat, they stare at me and run away. It's as if they're confused about how a human can speak their language!
Yep. Definitely why they run off.

I saw so many cats. Meow meow mew!
Try and understand what I just said there hah!

An island of cats - on an island off the coast of Makassar

I actually found A LOT of cats at my aunt's house! Her nephew is actually a cat breeder. So he breeds those expensive cats. They're all pedigreed and such. And expensive!

 

Fluffy Persian Cat!

Kitten at my uncle's house - Pontianak
(She looks like my uncle - LOL)

4. Food!! But most importantly, it was all HALAL.
I regret not eating more in Indonesia. The food was delicious but the heat really decreased my appetite. And mostly because I was stressed lol. I was just worrying about all the stuff that would be going on when I'd have to get back to Australia that I almost didn't enjoy my holiday!
But I still took SOME pictures.. not many though.

One of things I noticed when I went to Indonesia is how much it's changed. There are now new malls, and there has definitely been an increase in the amount of Japanese and Korean restaurants! The last time I went to Indonesia, which was around 5 years ago, I have NEVER seen these restaurants before. But I definitely appreciate Indonesia importing these Japanese and Korean restaurants.
It is so difficult to find that type of food here in Australia that is HALAL. So I got to eat as much as I could!

I would usually eat these fried bananas with cheese on top as a snack.

Fried Bananas with Cheese

Hot Pot - Singkawang

At Makassar, we ate at one of the best seafood restaurants ever! The atmosphere was really good! The lighting was good and the food was delicious. And I was also mistaken for a Malaysian there. LOL, I was wearing baju kurung so it was no wonder ahahah.
I believe the restaurant was called RM Bahari. And apparently, the Indonesian president SBY also ate at that restaurant. You can see a picture of him at the restaurant hanging on the wall.

 

I would seriously give RM Bahari 6MMMMmmms! out of 5 MMMMmmms!
The fish was fresh and I kept coming in for seconds and thirds! Now THAT's a good sign! Although I was starving that day so maybe that's why my appetite was so large? And it was also raining that day too...

At the Chocolate Museum - Makassar

 It's not every day that you get to eat this hot pot! Especially in Australia where it isn't halal in restaurants. To my surprise, it didn't really meet my expectations. I was expecting flavours from Japan.. lol. Maybe because I ate this the night after I arrived from Japan and had high standards. ROFL. I forgot the name of this restaurant.. but it was a restaurant in the Grand Indonesia Mall.

But OMG. I just LOVED what I had for dessert! Now THIS definitely reminded me of Japan. I think it was Green tea shaved ice. LOVED ITTT! I didn't have any of this when I was in Japan so you can imagine my delight when I dug into this!

The one dish that is high on my favourite Indonesian foods is: Sate Padang. My FAVOURITE.
And my favourite Indonesian drink? Teh Botol!!
So yummy.. omg I am remembering the taste of it all on my tongue. It makes me cry because now I want some so bad TT_TT

We stayed at Hotel Santika for new years. I forgot which hotel santika it was, but it was the one that was across that water park, and attached to the mall. I think it was Hotel Santika BSD?

Well, I really LOVED that hotel. It was fun to get away for new years and muck around. It was joined to this mall called Teras Kota and I had never felt so free in Jakarta till then. It's so convenient just going downstairs from your hotel room and then being in an entertainment district!

We had Korean BBQ there too! I thought we'd be cooking the meat ourselves like they did in those Korean dramas, but it was actually the dude that came in with his trolley and cooked next to our table. Nawww :(
But it was still tasty! I've never had a Korean BBQ before. And now I have! ^_^

At Teras Kota, there was also a stall that sold crepes! They had nothing on the Harajuku crepes, cos my standards for Japanese food are so high since I've been to Japan and all... (LOL jokes jokes). They were still good though!

 

Also at Teras Kota, I had an iced green tea shake? I think the name of that store was "The Coffee Bean". So good...

Hotel Santika BSD also had a new years party which guests of the hotel were invited to attend! We even won a ticket that would let us stay at Hotel Santika Lombok for a night! Unfortunately, it was going to expire this year, so we gave the ticket to my cousin's wife.
It was such an awkward moment when I went up to get the hotel ticket and the male host extended his hand to congratulate me. Of course I just pressed my palms together in front of me, in the usual Indonesian manner of greeting. Dude, I thought since Indonesia was a majority Muslim country they would know these Islamic customs?
Well, I'm not going to delve into the state of Islam in Indonesia in this post.. so, moving onwards!

And here's the food we ate at the New Year's party. The food was average I guess.. but I ate roast beef! What is it with my meat cravings? I was craving a juicy Aussie steak and Alhamdulillah they served Western food at that party.
By the way, it wasn't a dancing type of party. It was more.. a dinner party LOL. Food was good. I give it 3MMMmmms out of 5MMMmmms!

5. The low currency karena aku pelit
One of the best things about holidaying in a developing country is that you can buy things there that would usually cost a fortune in Australia, especially Sydney! Sydney's in the top 10 in the world for most expensive cities..
In Indonesia, I got a full body massage and scrub (green-tea flavoured! LOL what?), cheap hotel tickets, cheap everything. Even bought myself an Arsenal jersey. Whether or not the jersey is authentic or not.. err I don't really mind.

6. I guess I could go on and on.. but I really should sign off now. Indonesia is a beautiful place! Indonesia adalah negara yang sangat indah dan saya menyarankan anda libur di sana.


I still have much exploring to do. I feel like I hardly know Indonesia, despite being there a couple of times. One of the most important things I believe I should preserve is my heritage. Knowing who you are, and where you come from is one of the most important things you will take with you in life.