Saturday, July 25, 2015

Becoming a Scripture Teacher

So I've recently signed up to be a islamic studies scripture teacher at a public school literally NEXT to my apartment building. And my first class with this certain public school happened to be on the final week of Term 2. So I've only had one class with the school.

And that's about the ONLY class I will be having with that school.

Why you ask? Did I get fired?
Well technically, since it's all voluntary... "fired" wouldn't be the right word for it. More like "if that teacher comes back I'm pulling my kid out of the scripture program".

That shocked me. Initially my supervisor didn't want me to know why she was offering to relocate me... but I insisted. I needed to know what I did wrong! I'm not the type to ignore my mistakes (if it genuinely was a mistake). I want to fix things and become better!

So what was my mistake?
Well apparently, there were 2 things I said: "You're not allowed to listen to music" and "if you don't wear the hijab you're going to hellfire".


I specifically kept saying to myself in my mind that day to not say anything so direct. And it was emphasised so much during my training to avoid the "going to hellfire" topic. And I did abide by that! It must've gotten twisted or misunderstood during the lesson. I remember saying you should wear hijab, but not saying ".. and if you don't, you're going to hell".

And with the music question, I did not say that outright either. I asked the question what they shouldn't do in Ramadan. One of the kids say "listening to music" which I said "yes". I think the kid might've thought you shouldn't listen to music in general, Ramadan or no Ramadan. The music topic is a controversial one. You're really not supposed to, since the angels don't like it and will go away when they hear it... along with many other reasons. But some Muslims still listen to music voluntarily anyway. But the issue here is... I did  not outright say "you shouldn't listen to music". If anything, the message I was trying to communicate was "there are better things you could be doing rather than doing this and that, including listening to music".

So after a discussion with my supervisor, I have decided to relocate to another school. And it's not as close as my initial school. It's about a 20 minute bus ride. Grrr... $3.50 one way!

Tutoring adults is so much more fun. Maybe being a paediatrician isn't for me? But I love kids!

To be honest, I think the problem here was with the parents. Yeah, maybe the kid was a little spoilt but the decision to threaten to pull out their kid lies with the parents. And I could've gone back, but that would mean those kids' only chance of learning Islam would be taken away. And Allahu a'lam what they grow up to be. When they're older, it's hard to turn them back to Islam.

Well. Now that I've vented my frustration... I'm going to give my new school another go. Fresh start and now wiser! Not going to let one class pull me down. Gotta keep learning and inshaAllah I get rewarded for this. And inshaAllah those kids at the old school get a better teacher and grow up to become better Muslims and are guided on the correct path.



Monday, July 13, 2015

Making Another Blog

But that doesn't mean I'm leaving this one. This blog is a lot more... like a diary. I can post anything (well almost) and it doesn't have to pertain to a particular theme. There are no rules here.

What I do envision, is a more connected feeling. I want to make a blog that encourages discussion and networking. And to do that, I need to find whatever it is that I am passionate about and find those people that share those interests. Writing a blog about my life is for me and not really for anyone else. Everyone else has their problems, and have other people in their lives who ALSO have problems.

So what blog am I making?
I'm thinking of making a Green Tea blog. There's probably one already like that out in the world, but I want to add my own flavour into it. I will share that blog once it is ready to be shared. Can't go into any more details since it is still an idea in my head. Wondering if I should make it a wordpress or stay on the blogspot platform.

I am also making another blog.
Yep. You've heard correctly. Making a second blog! It's going to be about sharing stories about oneself. It's going to start as a personal project... I suppose documenting it across a period of time. Maybe if it gains a following I could share others' stories on it too. This blog is the one that I hope will be the engaging one. I hope it will connect to others.
Since the aim of this particular "story" blog is about sharing and connecting, I don't think blogspot provides the best for that. I was thinking of tumblr or wordpress... but yeah. Still researching on the best blog platform to launch from.


Oh! And Ramadan is ending soon! So sad it went by so fast! I haven't found a paying a job yet. Ive mostly just been volunteering and building up my resume. I was the MC of an iftaar one night. Alhamdulillah it went alright!
Half of 2015 is already gone too! Job prospects are decreasing but I to be honest, I don't really care. I've taken to calling this break a gap year and Allah SWT knows best. Maybe in the years ahead I'll be busy and would be regretful for not taking a break to reflect and actually work on all these ideas and projects I've had in mind. Perhaps I would be regretful for not taking a break and getting back into the deen. After last year's intensity, there wasn't much left in the tank self-esteem-wise, mental energy-wise and spiritually. This is the year to recharge. And there's only a few months left and I've gotta work on my bucket list.